


dog man vs the aliens

by smoljakey



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, shitty shit garbage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-07-10 15:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6991762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoljakey/pseuds/smoljakey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>theres a reason why i shouldnt be allowed to write fiction, and this is the reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. dog man apears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> man dav pilkey fuckin plagarized me

Dog man woke upto find that he wasnt in his dog bed anymore. He looked around and was completely surrounded by strange futuristic machinery that looked almost alien. He god up and started sniffing his surro ndings . hesmelled the sc ent off other people tha t sme lled familiar. H e followed the s cent and found his two best friends, mario and histeacher , mr sl;kadgdsjgk who were in glass cages. “Hel lo frends what r u doing?” barked dog man. “You gotta help us-a dog man weve been-a abducted by aliens and-a also our eyebrows are-a blue” said mario. “Whats a blue” questioned dog man beucase he is color blind. “Shut up and get us out of these cages u stupid dog man” said mr. jdkfhslhfsadfi;kl. “O k” woofed dog man. Then dog man smashed into both of the cages with his face and broke them easily becuase aliens suck at making cages.”hey dog man why arent ur eyebrows blue?” asked mr fsadfgasduafi;lkdsf. “Dogs dont have eyebrows stupid.” said dog man. “I can give u detention 4 10 years for saying that u know” yelled mr flkjdsiopdfk. “Wait what did i say again?” woofed dog man because he has a short attention span like a dog. “Lets-a go the aliens are-a coming” said mario impatiently. But it was too late . the aliens suddenly appeared out of thin air because of plot reasons. “Bleep bloop blork” said one of hte aliens which means “you are dead meat” in alien language. “We are-a dead meat” said mario. Then another alien shot at dog man with a gun. “Oh dang” said dog man. “Move out of the way-a you stupid linguine” yelled mario. Dog man tried to move out of the way but then dog man got a bullet wound in his leg. “Ow” said dog man. “Really? All youre gonna say is ‘ow’?” said mr. kfldsfids;p. “I could rip off both of your arms and feed them to a shark” said dog man. “10 years detention when we get back on earth” said mr. dsfidsfu90wr. “Wait why” asked dig man. Eventually the gang all got to the control deck of the ufo. There were two aliens in it. “Glook beep blark” said one of them and then he pulled out a sword that was also a gun. The aliens kept shooting at dog mand, mr. dsfidsfu90wr and mario with the sword that was also a gun, but then it ran out of ammunishion. Dog man found a stick and began smacking the aliens with it until the aliens were all laying on the ground eating tacos. Dog man and his friends found the ufo and drove it back home safley. What dog man didnt know was that there was still an alien on the ship. And he had an alien phone. The alien dialed alien 911 and said “blok gek flork”. The alien dispatcher said “flook blek blap flek” which means “the alien popo is coming 2 earth”. The alien hung up and smiled because the alien police were going to kill dog man.


	2. big doggo shits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE PLOT THICKEN

Dod man and his frends finally arrived on earth. “Yay we are back on earth i am going to go eat garbage now” said dog man. But suddnenly a big alien police car fell out of the sky and an alien cop came out of it. “Yerk blep floop” she said and puled out an gun. “Oh no its the popo” said mario. Dog man barked a lot at the police because that is what dogs do. "stop barking" said mr. klfdshfy38. "no" said dog man while still barking. The police alien shot dog man. Dog mab fell over on the ground. “Oh no dog mman is dead” said mario. “No im not” said dog man “oh” said mario. And then dog man passed out. “Oh crap we have to get dog man to a hopsital” said mr. 9sa0uf4fd. “Idk man i kinda hate him” said mario. So then mario and mr. foud9ufh picked up dog man and started running. They got inside the hospital but there were police cars stil chasing them. “Help us dog man is-a dying” said mario. “O k” siad the receptionist. They took dog man away. “Finally some peas and quite” said mr skd;af84. “Ikr” said mario. “Hey fuck u i heard that” said dog man even though he wasnt in the room anymore. After htat dog man was not ded and then they left hte hosptial. AND THEN SUDNEDLY A BIG DOGGO CAME OUT OF THE SKY. “my name is big fucko and me and my sitser are heer to take ofer hte world. siad the doggo.  
TO BE CONTIMBEUED…...


	3. foots fetish

“Wow so ur like a big-a chihuahua thats-a fucking-a stupig” said mario “fuck u” said big fucko while eating a building. “Hi” said a girl chihuahua who is also big. “This is my sister, her name is foots” said big fucko “WOW THATS FUKCING STUPID NAME SAID MARIO”. Big fucko then zapped mario with laser eyes and then he shit on him. “Shut the fuck up” he yelled. “O k” said mario. 

Dog man suddenly came out of no where and kicked big fucko in the face. Big fucko fell over. Then he saw foots. It was liek lov at firts site. “Wow ur smexy” siad dog man. Foots blushed. “Desu” said foots. And then they made out in front of everyone. Even the aliens were disgusted. Meenwaihle mr. hjadslhfahfh was crying bcuz he secretly had a crush on dog man. “Fuck u” said mr. k;alsjflsakjf;asj "u lil fuckin binch"


	4. FUCKertins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nya :3c

while digd man and fioots were making out, a cant named frumpertins was hiding in an alley. she pulled out a walikjrie talkie and said "the binch man dog guy is here". "beep floop grak" came from the other end. the cat was the cheif of the alieng polpiece and she was about to kick dog mans ASS because she is a cat and that is what capts do. sudddenldly andother cat came out from the shadows.....he was.......FIRESTAR!!!!21!21!!!!!! actually no he was not a fucking weeaboo furry cat book character he was a regular cat named sweets and he was orange. he was allso frupmertinses husbando and also am ewmember of the alien poliesce. he siad "lets fite dog manf" and then frumowprtins said "ok" 

they both jumpeod out of hte shaodws and punched dog man in thw FACE!!!11!!!!!!1!! "ow" said do g man.


End file.
